Do the Art, Live the Art, Breathe the Art

Motivated by the Art, yet procrastinated @ the thought of….. the Art

Projects due, PROJECT IS DUE!!!!!! Art is the project, do the Art

Art is Life, Life is Art

Project Done

Bless

I am grateful for the times we shared, and aware of certain errors I’ve made. I thank the Kreator for allowing this weekend of clarity, closure and calm and also for blessing her with a keen sense of discernment and articulation second to none.

Thank you for sharing with me… fyi: the condom pics were from our night and the photos are of models… no reason to lie.

Much Respect and Much Love

Bless

I can’t believe I allowed myself to fall victim to a big butt and a smile… I mean its obvious that this new older dude is clearly buying her and interested in the physical… Sure this may be an “assumption”, but really weigh the facts together : SMFH!!!! I’m not even gonna get into it!!!! Shorty got me HURT…. like seriously. I’ve NEVER been this fuckin down, hurt, confused, heated…. WOW!!!!! She played the shit outta me. All that stuff she told me, all those lies she said to me, the emails, the faux interest!!!! I don’t even know… that shit seems like just that…. SHIT!!!! She OBVIOUSLY neva meant any of it. Just the fact that I didn’t hear from this girl for a WEEK (and still haven’t) afta we had THE conversation, where I pretty much said what my intentions were (of settling down) and then I just so happen to randomly read her blog and find out that she’s had an “awakening” with the dude she JUST MET A FUCKIN WEEK AGO!!! WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!! SMFH!!!! obviously she lied about all the stuff she eva said to me about how she felt about me… SIGH!!! My head’s starting to hurt… SMH, I DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

©Nuronjon MentalApex/Cerebral Kartel LLC. 2009

♥ ART

♥LOVE

♥LIFE

Jah Bless = )

BOTTOM LINE: She accepted this….

^^^^ NOT A MINOR TASK @ ALL!!!!!

And because of this, SHE will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart, my mental, my psyche… I still LUV her and I don’t see that changing anytime soon…. REGARDLESS  of wateva station she may be @ or wateva staion I’m @.

Just so yall get me>>> Shorty could be married with 2 children, 15 years from now and I could be “involved” with anotha… YET, to me, She’s in a category that I haven’t let too many sistas in. YEAH, I still LUV her..

JAH Bless

Clock strikes 6:30 ish (insert sounds of LOUD, victorian, church bells) DONG, GONG, BONG… to my surprise my account is overdrawn!!! No problem, lemme just call the number, speak to becky and everthang is gonna allllrighttttttt….. right?? NAH!!!!!

I call the #…. after 12 minutes on hold listening to ANNOYING bank of amerikkka sales pitches, Im finally connected to a woman (I forgot her name). She explains that since the fees YES… fees as in plural are pending there is nothing that can be done at the moment. Clearly this is no fault of the customer service rep with whom I’m speaking, but DAMN the level of detachment was so cold, sterile,  so dispassionate that I found myself getting angry with the aforementioned woman. To reign myself in, I kept saying out loud while talking to her “I realize you have nothing to do with this, however……”. After about 4 minutes of what seemed like (on my part) the final argument in a patriot actish courtroom hearing, I realized that my sentence was LIFE without the possibility of parole = “There’s nothing “we” can do about the fees Mr. #^@^$@&”.

Clarification is needed, I am in NO WAY comparing the minor inconvenience of a couple (plural) of overdraft charges (baseless in nature) to the living daily hell of incarceration that impacts FAR TOO MANY of my sistas and brothas in the struggle.

At the time of hearing those words, and the frigid yet beguiling tone in which they were aimed at me like the verbal bullets that literally penetrated a layer of my protective consciousness, I felt disenfranchised, DAMN!!!, no money again, SIGH!!!, Fuck money, Fuck materialism, Fuck bank of amerikkka (built on money generated from the BLOOD, SWEAT, TEARS, RAPES, CASTRATION, LYNCHING, KIDNAPPING, and let us not forget the more than 500 years of SLAVERY in its varied forms of indentured servitude, sharecropping, and the other names…. YOU GET MY POINT!!!! right??), DAMN!!!!!, what am I gonna eat?(wait, I’m fasting today)… well what about tomorrow??, This backwards hustling living isn’t living, O.K you have to do something…………..

FAST FORWARD>>>>>>> 9pmish >>>>>>>> Setting: My Brain and Thoughts

“ahhh, thank you most high, when the rain fall/it won’t fall on one man’s house, ok, got food, the bananas will be good for a minute!!!, that watermelon sure looked juicy, ahhh, thank you most high/ tru kreator, bout to be in the house, YES!!!!!, walk through the door, up the steps, damn, gotta wipe the floor of my rain/ partially muddy footprint, O.K….. bout to wash my hands…the warm water feels so nice against my rain and wind beaten hands…….OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!!!…… calm down, check the closet….. NO, not there, ok, check the stand…. NO, not there, DAMN!!!, ok, ok, ok CALM DOWN!!!!, check outside….. (outside, in the rain)SIGH!!!!, it’ll come up, I mean this is the second time I’ve lost it, but DAMN!!!!!”

FAST FORWARD>>>>>>> 10ish>>>>> Setting: in front of this monitor typing ; ))

“of the world, but not of the world”, that aphorism has new meaning to me sitting here on Monday May Twelfth Two Thousand And Eight 5122008 5/12/08 @ 22:21 hrs listening to Prophet Bob Marley’s Exodus. When we are born we come into this world/dimension/state of existence NAKED, literally and figuratively. When we transition to the next level/essence/state of existence/dimension we are once again NAKED. Granted at birth some are born into situations where they won’t have a material care for the rest of their “natural lives” and others are born into shituations where they will have to struggle every single day for the rest of their “natural lives”, however they/their body/their mental and spiritual even to some extent are still NAKED, they aren’t cognizant of what Vogue says is in. They don’t care that Jordan has a superfluous amount of shoe models that perpetually keep his people mentally, socially, and economically chained. They don’t care about having billions of dollars (on paper, since the dollar hasn’t been backed by a precious metal since…………..) and taking “holidays” in St. Tropez. And last but not least, they could give a rats ass about petty overdraft fees designed to continually rape and rob the poor while enriching those few at the top of this satanic, capitalistic, individualistic, decadent group of individuals (one cannot call amerikkka and the occidental world “civilized or a civilization” any more than a neo-nazi can call his fuhrer, the “founding father” of anti-semitism).

ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT >>>>>>>>>>>>>

I misplaced something valuable and prized to me. It’s meaning was spiritual and whenever I wore her shield, her light just reflected from the mirror of my soul. All i can say and speak into existence is that WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN!! While its bittersweet to think of the day I placed her on my right arm, and the moments of quiet reflection we shared in the mornings before I left on my errands, I’m comforted with the thought that whomever she graces with her blessings will travel in safety and peace. NOTHING BUT GOOD VIBRATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS IRIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanx to all I and I Sistren and Bredren who shall read this/hear of this/randomly think about one of the infinite concepts expressed here. I owe you more than you’ll ever know.

Jah Bless

So, okay, words cannot describe the joy and contentment I feel when I read the subtly, sophisticated, coming of age verbiage of this most talented Afrikan woman. >>>>>> GETTING TO THE POINT BARE WITH ME ; )) 

Sista Harris , whom I mos def remember momentarily linking up with @ “da plaza” lol, made/makes/is making a brotha (nuronjon,DUBZY, Jdubya) smile/beam/FEEL GOOD @ the positively progressive, kind words n vibrations that she shot my way. THANK YOU for the shout out that blessed the pages of your blog. Just like erbody n dey mama LUVs “Summertime” during the beginning of summer, you are my literary “Summertime”. MUCH RESPECT to you Alyssia Harris : )))))))

Bless 

2 mins later >>> I’m walking down the frozen food aisle in a state of disbelief. The phone conversation, which was more one-sided than mutual, has left me feeling a mixture of blowinesswtfsighnawnotevendamn!!!4real and a slight topping of “I can’t work like this 4ever”. I had a prior engagement that I was more than a few minutes late to (an hour and some change lol….. yeah).  FAST FORWARD>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 5 mins after the initial “conversation”/ 3 mins after the stages of general adaptation, I stood in the checkout line with the realization that I had a choice between two hard, incongruous options. Either I go to my prior engagement and deny my self will or I make a conscious, objective decision to do “what I feel?”. As of late I don’t see the point in denying one’s self at the expense of self will. Essentially, my cosmology has become one of “vibrationalrelativestresslesslivity”. I refuse to do what is “expected” of me from a society that has no respect/care/concern or knowledge of me, my experiences, and my aspirations. People always say “life is short” and make comparisons between success and life worth, but at the end of ALL of that, if a person still finds that they are constantly GIVING more than they are RECEIVING , unfortunately, the relationship is not a reciprocal one and the MISPLACED ENERGY transfer is only one sided. This may appear to be the convoluted, rantings of a person just speaking for the sake of speaking (ie. “all this talk and no action”LMAO, funny), but seriously ASK YOURSELF….. Why do I make sure I’m on time  (to the job, the organizational meeting, the interest forum, linking up with my homegirls/boys,etc.) at the expense of losing my personal rhythm, happiness and in general terms……. self will/determination…..FREEDOM.

a paycheck (slave wage) < PERSONAL HAPPINESS and RELATIVE COMPLETENESS 

Bless