Art major, Art life, Art love, Art me, Art you
Do the Art, Live the Art, Breathe the Art
Motivated by the Art, yet procrastinated @ the thought of….. the Art
Projects due, PROJECT IS DUE!!!!!! Art is the project, do the Art
Art is Life, Life is Art
Project Done
Bless
As people journey through life, their constantly building, destroying, and again… rebuilding. People grieve in different ways. Some bottle up their emotions, others have a good cry, and yet others waft in a medium of emotional inertia. It’s hard to let go of something that you valued and prized, yet didn’t show it… until the 11th hour. My weekend uptop reminded me that my selfishness cost me something… and I overstand that. The mental and emotional torment that I put MYSELF through is just that… self inflicted. Why shouldn’t I be happy when people find “true” love? lol, being bitter was not, is not, and never will be the answer to holes in the heart. While I do acknowledge my faults and numerous weaknesses and “idiosyncrasies”, I also acknowledge the strength that it takes for me to come around 180 degrees and realize that for me to be upset, angry, hurt about anotha person’s personal situation is not only foolish, but also taxing on the psyche. lololol = ), Through it all …… I’m happy for her. SO SERIOUS!!!! : ), I’m blessed that I had an opportunity to vibe with her, enjoy her bakery : ) and have a generally good time with her. Granted I wished(past) that things would’ve been different, however I was warned, offered and, in essence, given an ultimatum. I have a lot of growing to do…. JAH’s will, I shall no longer stand in the way of love btwn two people, nor wish ill on the burgeoning happiness of these two individuals. : ) I had my chance… key word: had.
I am grateful for the times we shared, and aware of certain errors I’ve made. I thank the Kreator for allowing this weekend of clarity, closure and calm and also for blessing her with a keen sense of discernment and articulation second to none.
Thank you for sharing with me… fyi: the condom pics were from our night and the photos are of models… no reason to lie.
Much Respect and Much Love
Bless
I haven’t felt this way…. EVER!!!! She got all up in my head and my heart…. I allowed that. I even told her that I was most definitely considering being a “one woman man”. This GIRL ripped my fuckin heart out. SMFH!!!!! I KNEW this would happen. All the stuff she said to me about loving me and all the otha stuff bout “neva feeling for another like she felt for me” HA!!!! actions SO SO speak louder than words. I allowed this woman to get up in my psyche and my emotional space and now I’m left holding a 2 dollar bill in england = translation: WITH NOTHING and actually at a loss. Think about it, here it is 3 in the morning and I’m up purging my heart out while she’s probably cuddled up with this new older career guy ($$$$)… who, keep in mind they haven’t even known each other that long (just fuckin met like a week ago). I feel so fuckin betrayed, its not even funny. Granted we weren’t technically in a relationship, however we WERE TALKING!!! SMFH… or at least I thought we were…. why else would I spend hrs on the phone wit somebody I had a history with talking about “settling down”. SMFH!!!!!! They say what goes around comes around, so I realize I probably had this coming, but, REAL TALK… I neva did ANYTHING with ANYBODY else while we were talking!!!!!! so serious!!!!!
I can’t believe I allowed myself to fall victim to a big butt and a smile… I mean its obvious that this new older dude is clearly buying her and interested in the physical… Sure this may be an “assumption”, but really weigh the facts together : SMFH!!!! I’m not even gonna get into it!!!! Shorty got me HURT…. like seriously. I’ve NEVER been this fuckin down, hurt, confused, heated…. WOW!!!!! She played the shit outta me. All that stuff she told me, all those lies she said to me, the emails, the faux interest!!!! I don’t even know… that shit seems like just that…. SHIT!!!! She OBVIOUSLY neva meant any of it. Just the fact that I didn’t hear from this girl for a WEEK (and still haven’t) afta we had THE conversation, where I pretty much said what my intentions were (of settling down) and then I just so happen to randomly read her blog and find out that she’s had an “awakening” with the dude she JUST MET A FUCKIN WEEK AGO!!! WOWOWOWOWOW!!!!! SMFH!!!! obviously she lied about all the stuff she eva said to me about how she felt about me… SIGH!!! My head’s starting to hurt… SMH, I DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
am I bitter? yes
you pumped my head up with great head, but I digress
you just met dude and already yall chill hard body
a certified nobody, talkin bout ulterior motives, shorty light the votive
watch that flame flicker as the tape tickers by way of time
I’M DONE, SO SO SO DONE!!!!!!
yea I’m indecisive, yea I’m selfish, but already though??!!!
like, really, already though
its kinda funny, but fuck it, it ain’t funny!!!!
we just talked a week ago and I feel played like a dummy
tru everything is cyclical, so there’s mos def a reason for this, but the seasons JUST changed
and already you back in da game…. SMFH hahahahahahahaha, AHHHHH
am I bitter? yes
tryin not to be negative, but already though??? WTF!!!!! I feel like I neva even knew you….
hahahahahaha, WOW!!!!!
Have fun with dat!!!! SMFH!!!!!! I know I did some things, but shorty!!!! WTF!!!!!
a fuckin bet B!!!!, a bet!!!!!
wateva fuck it!!!!! unFUCKIN believable!!!!!!
I’M SO DONE!!!!!!!
love my ass!!!! it’s a two way street shorty
am I bitter? maybe. figure it out
I’m SO DONE wit yall!!!!!!!
©Nuronjon MentalApex/Cerebral Kartel LLC. 2009
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